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  • Writer's picture~Kimberly Oden

When Our Thoughts Wander into the Land of, “What If”

Last week as Markel drove me through Atlanta towards my MRI results appointment, I kept sighing. I felt my heart flip flop here & there, & I couldn’t get comfortable. The Dr. was going to tell me whether or not I needed surgery & if I needed to be concerned about the spot they found on the X-ray.

By about the 5th deep breath sigh, I finally realized it was due to the wanderings of my mind.

I wandered into the land of “What If” & was strategizing all of the possible exit routes. I chuckled inside because I was literally doing Olympic mental gymnastics & yet had no idea why I felt so unsettled. The brain is a funny thing.

This morning, I read Psalm 56. It was written by David while he was seized as an exile. He begs God for mercy, while confessing his trust in Him:

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You’ve collected all my tears in a bottle & recorded each one in a book.”

I learned that the word for “sorrow” was only used 1 time in the entire Bible. It means wanderings, mental restlessness, to flutter to & fro like an aimless fugitive 😳 Wow!

David spent much of his life as a wanderer. He knew what it meant to wander as an aimless fugitive & yet he also knew the God in whom he trusted. His God saw each tear that fell, tears from sins AND sorrows, & HIS God intimately collected them in a bottle & recorded them in His book 💕

David ends the passage praising God for rescuing him from death so that he might walk in the Lord’s life-giving light!

As I waited for the doctor, my mind wandered back into the land of “What If” & my eyes leaked. Its so easy to stumble over small sorrows. I  know the Lord saw my mind fluttering to & fro as I stared out the windows of the skyscraper.

Markel was on the phone & abruptly ended his call. He said, “Baby, we can trust Him. It’s all gonna be ok.”

I’m teary now as I remember the goodness of God in that moment. He even collects our happy tears!

The praise is I do not need surgery & the other praise is that I stepped from the land of “What if” to “Layover Land” as I wait for my next appt. with an oncologist. I am praying like David did, when he proclaimed, “This I know: God is on my side!”  Regardless of what we face, we can always offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to God because He saved us from death eternal so that we can walk in His life-giving light here on earth as we will in heaven!

September 12th One Year Bible Readings

💡Isaiah 10:1-11:16

💡2 Corinthians 12:11-21

💡Psalm 56:1-13

💡Proverbs 23:6-8


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