Boundaries are Created not to Sever a Relationship, but to Preserve It

I didn’t know how much I didn't know about boundaries until recently. As I look back on my parenting years, I realize how little I modeled healthy boundary setting.😬

A boundary is a property line that defines where you begin & end. It’s not established to sever relationships, but to preserve them.

I just learned (from the book “Boundaries” that I’m only responsible FOR myself & nobody else, not even my children.

We are called TO love one another, not BE one another.

Our parents, children, & friends are their own person & we can’t 

👉🏽feel FOR them, 

👉🏽think FOR them, 

👉🏽act FOR them 

👉🏽or even grow FOR them.

The blessings & consequences they face are a sum of their own decisions. I AM responsible, however, TO my children & others in my life.

Peter reminds us to make every effort TO supplement our faith with...brotherly affection & love.

We are responsible TO help others bear the burden during heavy seasons, but only for a short season.

If destructive behavior is involved, we’re responsible TO create a healthy boundary that defines where we end & they begin.

What we are NOT called to do, however, is become responsible FOR carrying the backpack of their everyday burdens. We all have those, & on the daily, we are not given more than we can bear.

When we continue to rescue someone from their poor decisions, we are only setting ourselves up to have to do it again. It reinforces a pattern for them not to take responsibility for their own life & for us to continue as a counterfeit rescuer.

Boundary setting is hard. I’ve slipped into codependency land far too many times. It FEELS good, but doesn’t DO good.

When I choose to carry someone’s responsibilities for too long, I’m only prolonging the time when the person will HAVE to take ownership of his or her own life.

People who are angry about your boundaries are the very same people who benefited when you didn’t have them. Boundaries may be hard, but sometimes they’re the best way to love.

The bottom line is that we’re called TO love. I am reminded this morning that anytime I become a counterfeit rescuer, I rob the receiver of the opportunity to experience The Rescuer, Jesus, who longs to love them & be their Lord.

#OneYearBible #Boundaries

November 27th One Year Bible Readings

DANIEL 4:1-37

2 PETER 1:1-21

PSALM 119:97-112

PROVERBS 28:17-18

Keeping an Even-If-Kinda-Faith

Have you ever felt worn out while waiting for the Lord’s rescue? I feel that way this morning as I wait for a relational rescue within our family.

Psalm 119 wraps words around a heart longing for rescue. The writer declares,

“I’m worn out waiting for your rescue, O Lord, but I’ve put my hope in your word.

My eyes strain to see your promises come true.

When will you comfort me?

How long must I wait?

All your commands are trustworthy. Your word stands firm. Your regulations remain true. Your instructions sustain my joy. I am yours, rescue me!”

As I read Shadrach, Meshach & Abendego’s story this morning, I wondered if they recalled Psalm 119 as they spoke so boldly to the Babylonian king who was about to throw them in the fire for refusing to bow down to his statue.

They knew what it meant to wait...they were taken captive, stripped of their identity & homeland security, but they knew their God in Whom they could trust. Even though their names were changed & their country was demolished, their faith to follow THEIR God remained steadfast.

They had what I like to call, “An Even-If-Kinda-Faith.” 

They boldly told the king, “We don’t need to defend ourselves before you. If we’re thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power. BUT EVEN IF he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you that we will never serve your gods or worship your gold statue.”

The king was so furious that his face became distorted with rage!😡 The men were thrown into a furnace heated 7xs hotter than normal, a mysterious 4th man suddenly appeared in the fire & then the king ordered the 3 men out of the fire & they didn’t even smell of smoke!

Waiting is hard, especially when it’s long & the fiery circumstances feel 7xs hotter than normal & yet we ALL have a 4th man in the fire with us! Jesus, Emmanuel, the Living Water who will quench our thirst while we wait for His rescue in a dry & weary land!

Father, our hope isn’t in the rescue, but in The Rescuer! Give us the courage of these brave Hebrew boys who took You at Your Word! Strengthen us in the wait with an “Even-If-Kinda-Faith” that remains rock-steady. Today we declare our hope in Your Word!

#OneYearBible

November 26th One Year Bible Readings

💡DANIEL 2:24-3:30

💡1 PETER 4:7-5:14

💡PSALM 119:81-96

💡PROVERBS 28:15-16

Doing Our Part To Remain Healthy | Mind, Body, Spirit

Imagine the king’s commander arriving at your door to announce that he’s been ordered to kill you & your companions. When you ask why, you’re told that the king had a dream which he won’t share, but unless you discover & interpret it, ALL wise men will be killed.

This was the plight of Daniel whose story gives fresh insight into the direct connection between mind, body & spirit. He was a strong, healthy, good-looking Hebrew man who was taken captive along with others by the Babylonians.

Upon arrival, the chief of staff began cultural indoctrination by changing their names. This was followed by a 3-year regiment of learning the language, studying the culture & eating rich food from the king’s table.

As the indoctrination began, Daniel made a request. He was determined not to defile himself by eating their food & wine so he requested permission to eat only vegetables & water. The attendant agreed & within 10 days, he & his 3 friends looked healthier & better nourished than the ones who ate the rich food. God also gave them an unusual aptitude for understanding & gave Daniel, in particular, the special ability to interpret visions & dreams which literally became a lifesaver!

He went to the king & requested a little more time to tell & interpret the dream. That very night, Daniel urged his friends to ask God to reveal the secret, AND HE DID!

I’m familiar with this story, but as I read it again, I’m reminded of the connection between mind, body & spirit. Daniel determined to keep his body fueled with food that was like super premium gas! He removed the impurities which then led to not only physical improvements, but also mental acuity AND spiritual discernment! Not only was he able to interpret the king’s dream, he did so without any details about what it was!

Culture today is so focused on external medications and precautions to be healthy, but very rarely does MSM report on the importance of water, rest, gut health, exercise, etc, to fight this pandemic. We all have a far bigger part to remain healthy than simply receiving a shot.

The question that surfaces is this:

Will we “do our part” to remain healthy and, like Daniel, become determined not to defile ourselves with cultural food & drink of our time?

#OneYearBible

November 25th One Year Bible Readings

💡DANIEL 1:1-2:23

💡1 PETER 3:8-4:6

💡PSALM 119:65-80

💡PROVERBS 28:14