When We Keep Our Face Towards THE SON, All Shadows Fall Behind

Feelings are a fickle thing. At best they help us rejoice in the highest ways & at worst, they betray our deepest fears.

I read a quote yesterday that said, “I sat with anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.”

I think you could change “grief” with just about anything. Anger seems like a blanket emotional fruit that cam stem from many roots.

To my surprise, I felt anger as I walked into my dad’s hospital room yesterday. There were lights & tubes & gadgets everywhere, & there, in the center of it all, was my dad. 

As I watched his chest go up & down with the aid of a respirator,I felt angry.

Angry that he’s in that state, angry that my God has the capacity to do something & seemingly hasn’t, & angry that I didn’t have enough faith to not feel sad. To be honest, I think I was angry that I felt angry. Is that possible?

Today as I read about the weight Moses feels over leading his people, I could identify with the sense of desperation. The situation seems so hopeless that Moses’s feelings betray the deep recesses of his heart when he cries,

“If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”😳

Even though my insides flinched in fear of God’s reply, He does something amazing. He loves Moses right where he’s at, giving him 70 elders to help lead & the promise of meat for the whining people.

Moses, still in his feels, reacts to God yet again with anger & unbelief. I wanted to judge, but God’s reply  stopped me in my tracks:

“Has my arm lost its power? Now you will see whether or not my word comes true!”

His words served as a correction & reminder to those little girl places in my heart that yelled, “Why & how & when, Lord?”

It’s not earth shattering, but it’s enough manna for today. My Lord’s arm is not too short to save.

We can process the what ifs & whys with The One Who has all the answers, even if they are smeared with emotions. He can handle them😉

Jesus, we turn to You today with the myriad of emotions inside. We know when we face The Son, that all shadows fall behind. May the Light of Your Presence go before us, fill us with peace & be our rear guard. 

#OneYearBible

March 8th One Year Bible Readings

NUMBERS 10:1-11:23

MARK 14:1-21

PSALM 51:1-19

PROVERBS 10:31-32

Be Wary of Following Feelings into the Land of Fear

This morning is a rubber-meets-the-road-faith-moment for me…my dad was airlifted to a hospital yesterday with signs of a brain bleed. He lies in ICU & I’m sitting in a hotel lobby a little under halfway to see him & my family.

Ill be honest. My eyes are leaking. I wish I could say that my heart was steadfast this morning. Sheesh, you’d think a girl that’s been writing for over nine months about the steadfast faithfulness of God’s Word would be just as steadfast, but I feel a little shaky.

As I opened my One Year Bible to today’s reading, the passage in Proverbs felt like weapons whispered by the enemy to those shaky places inside…

It promises that the way of the Lord is a stronghold & that the godly will

never be disturbed. So why DO I feel disturbed? Why DO I feel held in a stronghold of fear instead of faith?🥲

I KNOW those things to be true! I’ve even EXPERIENCED the truth of them over & over again, & yet as I sit here sipping cold coffee my feelings seem to be trumping Truth.

A song just began playing about the inescapable pursuit of God’s love. The lyrics reminded me of His steadfastness…

No, you’re not leavin,

So I’m not leavin’

You love me when I’m up

You love me when I’m down

Your love surrounds me

I can’t get away…

There are hard moments in life, like today, when my flesh wants to leave what I KNOW to be true - no, WHO I know to be true…the enemy uses these hard moments to taunt us to hopelessness, tempting us to be held by fear instead of our Father Who sees all, knows all & is over all.

Oh, Lord Jesus, even though my feelings say one thing, Your Word declares another. Thank you for the reminder that feelings can be fleeting. Do not let me deceive myself into thinking that You are nothing less than the Great I AM Who owns cattle on a thousand hills!

Much like my earthly father who is halfway across the country, You feel a little far from me…& yet I choose to watch for signs of You. I will not be disturbed, but use the flailing feelings inside as a prompt to offer a sacrifice of praise to You, to thank You & to worship You. You are my stronghold!

No, You’re not leavin,

So I’m not leavin…

#OneYearBible

March 7th One Year Bible Readings

NUMBERS 8:1-9:23

MARK 13:14-37

PSALM 50:1-23

PROVERBS 10:29-30

Preparing for the Opportunity Panic Provides

So I’ve been sensing a nudge to fast. There are many reasons why & I’ve seen several “road signs” pointing in that direction, but to be completely honest, I’ve flicked them away like pesky fleas😬

This morning, as I waited for my coffee to brew, I began quickly deleting unnecessary emails. After I swiped away the last one, I felt led to recover it. I did & much to my surprise, it was about beginning a 40-day fast on March 7th-tomorrow!😳

Fasting isn’t fun. I like food & I really like sweets (but they don’t like me 😂). I need a deep “why” to stay committed to a fast, so when I opened my One Year Bible to Mark 13, I felt sufficiently motivated.

Jesus tells of the start of end times. He describes wars, threats of wars, famine & earthquakes as “birth pains” of what’s to come. Although there’ve been many moments in history that match this description, I can’t help but feel confirmation to prepare my insides for the much that is unfolding outside.

Smack dab in the middle of the description, Jesus  gives the reader a, small, comforting imperative: “Don’t panic.” A little later, He gives another, exhorting us to, “Watch out when these things begin to happen!”

Why?

Because, He says, “…this will be your opportunity to tell them about me.”

When Daniel was taken from his homeland, his very identity was stripped of him - his name changed, his attire probably changed to appear fit to stand before the Babylonian king & his diet changed. He knew, much like this time Jesus describes in Mark, that he wanted to be ready & prepared for God to move & speak through him, so he chose to fast.

We are not only facing political wars, but also wars against the identity of this next generation. A massive indoctrination is happening in schools across our nation, public AND private. The need for prayer is great!

We need not panic, but be excited that we are appointed to live at such a time as this! NOW is the perfect opportunity to tell others about The One Who IS Peace amidst the panic! He alone is the answer to the fears we face! I want to be clear-headed & ready to let the Holy Spirit speak through me, how about you? 40-day fast focusing on whole foods starting tomorrow? Join me!

#OneYearBible

March 6th One Year Bible Readings

NUMBERS 6:1-7:89

MARK 12:38-13:13

PSALM 49:1-20

PROVERBS 10:27-28